Tag Archives: almond butter

Smiling when you fucking want to and also Protein Bars

 

Warning:  I’m pissed and I am going to say “Fuck“.  A lot.

Men need to stop telling women they see on the street to smile.

If they like smiling so much, then maybe they should walk down the street smiling for absolutely no fucking reason at all.  At least then women will know from a safe distance that the man is a lunatic and should be avoided because who else but a wack job would just be walking down the street with a smile on their face?

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smīl/e  verb

form one’s features into a pleased, kind, or amused expression, typically with the corners of the mouth turned up and the front teeth exposed.

So here is the breakdown of why  I am cracking down on this thing of men telling women they should smile:

  1. They don’t deserve it.

Okay so who in the hell are you that you think just because you are on the street at the same time that I am that I would be pleased and amused and want to express that toward you?  Unless you are Bradley Cooper, Daniel Craig or David Beckham, who I also don’t personally know, then I am not going to smile at you as I walk down the street by myself just because you said so.  You  deserve a throat punch from me not a smile.

  1.  It is harassment.

Shouting to a stranger “You’re not even going to smile for me?!”  Is not less offensive than shouting, “You’re a bitch!”  because both make a woman feel unsafe.  

  1.  You don’t get to tell me what to do.

This is a command to perform something, a smile.  It is saying, “Show me you are pleased with me even though you don’t even know who the hell I am.”   No.   I smile when I want to.  

  1.  It’s rapey.  There I said it.  Do women ever do this?  Hell no! It is a domination thing, an intimidation thing.  We do not tell men to smile.  We do not randomly tell each other to smile. Men do not do this to other men.

Okay okay, so here’s what happened:  

When this happened to me recently,  my mind was on the spin training I was on my way to so of course I didn’t expect the shout directed at me, “What you’re not even going to smile for me?”  and I simply brushed it off and ignored the asshole but the more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off.   If this ever happens to me again,  Here is what they will get:   

TeethSo how do you like me now? Huh?  Am I prettier now?

I wonder how this will make him feel?  Maybe horrified?  Maybe a little bit attacked?  Maybe he will think twice before doing it again to another woman?  Maybe it will piss him off, I don’t know but I am not going to do what this person says and I am not going to give them the satisfaction of thinking that they intimidated me.  Also, fuck him.

I also hate that my daughters will have to deal with this.  In fact, they already do.  I also hate that much worse happens to women each and every day.  This one thing is enough to make my blood boil.

So for the record it is not okay when a man does this to a woman.  Just in case anyone thought so.  It is straight up harassment and it makes a woman feel unsafe.  Also, even if you know the person, it is still rude because you are actually just calling her a bitch whether you know her or not.

And now here is something to really smile about!  You may be walking down the street and remember you have one of these chocolaty satisfying snacks in your bag for later and then you won’t be able to help but smile!

Protein Bar

 

 

 

 

Protein Bars recipe

  • 2  1/4 cups whey protein
  • 1 cup almond butter
  • 1 cup coconut unsweetened
  • 4 tbs raw honey
  • ¼ cup cocoa
  • 1 tbs cinnamon
  • 1tsp vanilla extract
  • 1 tsp Himalayan salt divided into 3/4 tsp and 1/4 tsp
  • 1/2 of an 85% – 90% dark chocolate bar.

Directions:

  1. Combine all ingredients in a food processor and blend till combined.
  2. Pour and mold into a 7 x 5 x 1.5 inch glass container lined with wax paper
  3. Melt half a 85% or 95% dark chocolate bar in the microwave and spread all over the top and sprinkle with 1/4 tsp Himalayan salt.
  4. Refrigerate for a couple of hours at least and then cut into ten pieces.  Wrap individually in wax lined foil paper and store in the refrigerator.

 

  • Total Protein   17.6
  • Total Carbs  15.82 
  • Total Fat 22.44
  • Total Calories  317.7
  • 7 grams of sugar 

Breakfast for Dinner Party for Two

FullSizeRender (8)When I’m not sure what’s going on with the gang, I’ll plan some meals for the week and then have one or 2 “back-up” ideas.  Breakfast for dinner is one such back-up plan.  One night this past week, it was just me and my youngest daughter Claire, so we had breakfast for dinner.

Declaring Breakfast for Dinner to Claire is the equivalent of declaring this night a party night!  We both get excited and do a little pre-food food dance that involves a little hip swerve followed by 2 fist pumps, repeated three times, with or without biting the lower lip and ending with a high-five.

It’s fun to do things backwards sometimes and we get to be a little naughty and have some maple syrup, and maybe a liiiiiittle more syrup and maybe just a drop more. And Okay stop it already with the syrup!  The shit is expensive, not to mention it’s sugar and we already know that sugar is a huge jerk.  An expensive delicious jerk.

We had pancakes topped with strawberries, maple syrup and some breakfast sausage that I bought from a local grass-fed farm.  I didn’t include any pictures of the sausage though, sorry.  I took some but ya know, sausage just isn’t very photogenic.  This is true even on other blogs, good blogs, much more sophisticated food blogs.  I think it just ends up looking like poo or like um well, like something else unmentionable and this is not that kind of party.  So you will have to take my word for it, the sausage was really good even if it looked like, whatever.

Nevertheless, Claire and I had ourselves a paleo pancake breakfast-for-dinner partay!  I made sure to text pictures of it to my husband and oldest daughter just to rub it in that we were having a party without them because I’m a jerk.  A big fat paleo jerk.  FullSizeRender (9)

Paleo Pancakes

Ingredients:

3 bananas

3 eggs

¼ tsp baking powder

½ tsp vanilla

½ tsp cinnamon

½ cup cashew or almond butter

½ cup of finely chopped walnuts

fresh or frozen strawberries

 

How to make them:

In a mixing bowl with a hand mixer, mash the bananas

add in the eggs and blend together

next blend in the nut butter

add in the baking powder, cinnamon and blend and

last the vanilla, blending together till completely blended

Heat a non-stick pan on medium heat and melt some fat (coconut oil or bacon fat works)

pour by ladle fulls as many as will fit in you pan without them touching and allowing for even distribution of the heat.

Once they are thicker looking and starting to bubble, and the ends appear to be done, carefully flip with a thin flat spatula.  This is tricky and takes some practice and it’s okay if they break.  I find paleo pancakes are harder to flip than traditional ones but you’ll get the hang of it and if they break, who cares?  You’re going to eat them anyway.

Lower the heat a little after flipping them and when done, keep warm in the oven on 200 degrees until the rest of the pancakes are done.

Serve topped with ghee, strawberries and a little maple syrup.  Enjoy!

You can also get really nutty and top with more nut butter and nuts with apples and cinnamon.  In this recipe, I substituted one banana with 3/4 cup of pureed pumpkin.

 

Paleo banana pancakes with sweet potato and almond butter

Melted Dark Chocolate Coconut Cookies

Melted Chocolate Coconut Cookies

Melted Dark Chocolate Coconut Cookies

 

 

 

 

 

These cookies are great for that time when you are absolutely dying for a gooey warm chocolate chip cookie but you discover that you have no chocolate chips left.  Damn it!  Who got into the chocolate chips?  You knew you had like half a bag left in there…    Never fear because you do still have that dark chocolate bar you were hiding for a chocolate emergency such as this!
image You may be tempted to not share these delicious warm and chocolatey cookies but it really is better to take the high road here and share the love of dark chocolate with your family, including whoever that sneaky chocolate chip thief was.

Melted Dark Chocolate Coconut Cookies

Ingredients:

1 cup almond butter
1/3 raw honey
1 egg whisked
1 tsp vanilla
1/2 cup cocoa powder
pinch of Himalayan or Kosher salt
1/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup finely shredded coconut
1/4 cup large flaked coconut toasted

1 70 – 80% Dark Chocolate Bar broken into 1/2 inch sized squares. Or if you are a dark chocolate freak like me, you can use 85% or 90%.  Lindt is good or Green & Blacks

1-2 tsps coconut sugar (optional)

Note:  The darker chocolate tastes  even stronger when it is melted.  If you absolutely love dark chocolate, put on a bigger or darker piece but a little goes a long way!

Directions:

Oven 350 degrees

  1.  In a non stick pan, toast the large coconut flakes till they begin to turn light brown on the edges, being careful not to let it burn.

  2.  With a hand mixer, blend the first 4 ingredients till combined.

  3. Add cocoa powder, baking powder and baking soda and mix well.

  4. Last, stir-in in the finely shredded coconut

  5. Drop by tablespoon full sized drops on a parchment paper lined baking sheet an inch or more apart.

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  1. Bake for about 15  minutes or till just set.  Usually when you can smell them, they are ready to come out.

  2. As soon as they come out of the oven, place sheet on a cooling rack let them rest a few seconds.

  3.  Carefully place a chocolate square on each, then top with toasted coconut and sprinkle with coconut sugar, if desired.  Let cool another couple of minutes.

  4.  With a thin flat spatula, carefully remove from cookie sheet and let cool on rack.

  5.  The chocolate will melt and then set as the cookie cools.

I know it’s hard, but try and let them cool a little longer so the top sets well.  Or, if you just can’t hold back any longer, scarf them all down and laugh wildly as the melted chocolate runs all over your face and hands!  You’re a hot mess and you love it!

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